This weekend my wife had her baby shower to begin to welcome in the newest addition to our family, and our first born, who is expected in late October. Our little girls nursery is beginning to fill up with all of the essentials, clothes (and lots of it,) stroller, car seat, bed, diaper pail, diapers etc. I've been knowing and that it was getting closer and closer but it doesn't really hit home until, well, all the stuff hits home.
While all the stuff finds its place in the nursery, I can't help but wonder if I will be a good dad. Will I be able to provide for her in both temporal and spiritual areas. And I know that she won't make her entrance into this world and be fully aware of everything that I do, but at the same time I know that even the small things, like the routine of going to Mass every Sunday will be noticed in her routine, even as a baby.
I also wonder that if we get too busy in life if I will slack on passing on the faith to her, not sharing with her my favorite prayers, my devotion to Mary, the influence JP II had on my life and on the life of my entire generation. I wonder if I'll be able to show her that if you rely on God and trust in his word that she will be taken care of in all of her needs.
And I think the scariest one is that I wonder if I will be able to instill in her a respect for life. For all life, from conception to natural death. I'm confident in my ability to give this to her, but I worry about the state of society fifteen years from now, society may make it virtually impossible for this value of life to stick with her.
This and so much more weighs heavy on me. My wife and I are the one shot she has, if we fail her, changes are she won't get it on herself.
So as I begin the next leg of this journey on earth I know I have some reading and studying to do. I need some accountability to keep me on track and keep me going. I need to remember to always be a great role model, because she will always be watching. And mostly, I need to pray for stregnth, courage, sanity, peace, and sanity again (she will be a little girl!)
If you'd like to share resources, feel free! I'm sure I'll need them sooner or later!
St. Joseph pray for me, that I may follow in the example of fatherhood that you gave to Jesus.